After a brief nap (likely between golf rounds), Donald Trump’s “great idea” has resurfaced: Canada should unite with the USA and become the “51st state.”
From Ottawa’s Parliament Hill down to every Tim Hortons lineup, Canadians have politely but firmly said “No thanks.” Even the beavers shook their tails in disapproval.
Still, let’s mull over Trump’s plan for a moment. His annexation dream does echo the words carved on the Peace Arch at the border: “Children of a common mother.” (Although Trump probably wants to build a wall against it.)
Indeed, in today’s interconnected world, nations resemble Netflix categories more than rigid borders. Global warming doesn’t need a passport, and neither does TikTok. So, the idea of merging countries for prosperity isn’t entirely absurd.
But here’s the catch: when Trump calls it a “great idea,” you know there’s a real-estate brochure hiding somewhere. “51st state” to him is less about “peace and unity” and more about “location, location, location.”
If we must entertain such a merger, let’s call the new union the Canadian States of America (CSA). Finally, geography textbooks would breathe a sigh of relief—no more “United States of America” pretending to own the whole continent.
Currency-wise, the Canadian loonie could be humanely retired, replaced by the mighty Greenback. But let’s redesign the bills: Sir John A. Macdonald could sit comfortably alongside George W. Bush, the man who earnestly claimed Saddam Hussein hid Weapons of Mass Destruction (in his kitchen fridge). And Barack Obama—who bagged the Nobel Peace Prize faster than Amazon Prime delivers—can grin from the $50 note.
And what would Canada contribute as the “51st state”? For starters:
Multiculturalism, so that melting pots don’t become pressure cookers.
Gun control, so road rage doesn’t turn into highway shootouts.
Humane immigration policies, because not every border needs barbed wire.
And most importantly, repealing those notorious Executive Orders and the self-pardoning of presidential pardons.
So yes, Trump’s “51st state” dream might sound tempting at his rallies. But up north, we prefer our sovereignty the same way we prefer our poutine—messy, unique, and definitely not Made in America.
Sorry, Mr. President, we’re very comfortable and peaceful as the world’s polite upstairs neighbour.
—Promod Puri
Promod Puri.com 