When football landed in America, it morphed into something resembling a genetically modified karela—yes, our beloved bitter melon. How else do you describe that awkwardly shaped, lumpy “ball”?
And here’s the kicker: this American version of football is barely kicked. Instead, it’s hurled, tossed, and occasionally hugged like a long-lost cousin at a desi wedding. But did they call it a handball? Of course not! That would make sense.
Meanwhile, the sport the rest of the world calls football—where feet actually do the work—was rebranded soccer in the U.S. Because Uncle Sam, in his infinite wisdom, even tried convincing the world to follow suit, as he often does with democracy and fast food. But this time, the world collectively rolled its eyes and said, “No thanks.”
Back in Canada and the U.S., however, the name change left many scratching their heads. “Wait, is soccer the one with the pyramid of people squashing each other? Or the one where Messi and Ronaldo do magic with their feet?” The confusion persists.
As for me, I’ve never understood American football. Half the time, the “ball” disappears under a pile of players. The only thing that gets kicked around in this sport is logic!
— Promod Puri
Promod Puri.com 