I’m not going to attend King Charles’s coronation on May 6.

The particular reason is that I don’t know what to wear and how to decorate myself to fit into the solemn ceremony marked as a triumph of the tradition of the Empire with unfading spots and stains of loot, terror and tyranny.

I wanted to see the world’s most popular jewel, the Kohinoor, stolen by the Raj. I learnt from news sources that the king would not wear it on his crown; if it falls off, it gets damaged, and that would be a bad omen on this otherwise happy occasion.

But there will be many other looted jewels from the vast haul of the Royal booty that King Charles would display all over his outerwear, robes and regalia. After all, this is the special day he hungrily looks forward to, along with Camilla Rosemary, who also gets annotated as queen consort.

As per media reports, Biden is not going either because most US presidents historically have not bothered to participate in the Royal coronation rituals, but they do attend the royal funerals.

Our prime minister Justin Trudeau seems to attend the coronation as he loves holidays which would give him the needed break from the daily grind of Poilievre and the press. Moreover, King Charles is officially the Commissioner-in-chief of the RCMP, in case!

India’s Shri Narendra Modi is eager to attend the ceremonies but has not yet RSVPed. He would show up at the London pageantry to see how the invited dignitaries, from dictators to kings, dress up in Royal outfits. And suppose Modi, a narcissist by nature, gets attracted to any of those flashy and splashy skirts, robes, garbs and gowns. In that case, he will copy the costume for his third coronation after the 2024 election he expects to win, thanks to the technically biased EVMs.

I wish I would go. But I’m not invited for the day of splendour and formalities and the historic ceremonial procession of bishops, lords and world dignitaries in their finest ensemble, participating in the “Hail to the King” chant. If I were, I would have given some berated slant to the chant.

-by Promod Puri

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